kamakawida

Few years back a good friend of mine told me he wanted me to be his best man.

This obviously was an absolute pleasure and an honor.

Was quite nervous about performing all my duties correctly and to his and his to be wives satisfaction. And it was so much harder than I thought, actually quite a big responsibility. Especially trying to keep the couple relaxed and not to allow them to freak about too many things. What made it extra hard was that I was not living in the same country, so I could only be in Finland for two weeks to both organize the bachelor party and the wedding (luckily the bridesmaid was a beast and had taken care of most of the prep.). Anyway it all went superbly and was truly a beautiful gathering.

Long story short my friend had his Bachelor party one week before the wedding (risky, I know). Nevertheless it was a success even though I had never been in one, let alone organize or plan one.

Quick re-cap:

As his wedding date grew closer, he most likely started to figure out when his bachelor party was going to take place.

This was a problem as we wanted it to be a surprise, so we decided to throw a fake (really lame) version of it on a Friday.

We had a few drinks with friends, made him go swim, played poker and went to a sauna. It was a really relaxing evening but he left home somewhat disappointed and pretty drunk which is understandable.

However ,the next day (Saturday) 14 of his best friends invaded his house early morning, woke him up and threw him in a car. We traveled quite some time to a sports center.

There he did some indoor wind tunnel flying and then we all did wake-boarding. Great experience.

After which we headed into town grabbing something to eat on the way and obviously let the drinks flow.

In town we had set up an obstacle course with clues and tasks. He had to finish the whole course on skis, mind you it was full on summer and around 30C in the sun.

Here were his instructions:

-Intro-

You have been chosen to undertake a journey of epic proportions through the dangerous concrete jungle of the city centre..

Follow every instruction carefully and remember to keep your lifesaving, magical protector skis on at all times.

If you fail to complete certain tasks to the standards of the checkpoint guardians, you will receive penalties in the form of alcoholic beverages which will make your journey harder but possibly more enjoyable.

You shall not receive any help from your guardians who will follow you on the journey other than possible clarifications of the tasks at hand.

Remember this is a test of your ingenuity and persistence so be prepared and keep a cool head.

If you complete this test you will be rewarded at the end with unimaginable riches and you will prove yourself worthy as a man (da da daa).

Good luck and safe journey…

Clue 1: Central train station

For this leg you have been given a pair of skis (which you must keep on at all times) and 10€ in cash money.

Go to the closest Intersport shop. Once there, enter the establishment and purchase anything with the money you have been provided with. Remember you must spend all of the money. If you cannot spend all of the money, give the remaining amount as a tip to the cashier. Please conduct this transaction speaking only in English.

Upon completion, exit the Intersport establishment. Once outside you will receive your next clue from the checkpoint guardian.

 

Clue 2: Intersport

Well done! You have completed the first part of your journey. This is only the beginning so prepare yourself.

Make your way to a statue in the middle of a long park. This statue is of a great national poet. Once there you will receive your next clue.

Note: Keep the item you purchased at Intersport with you.

You are advised from here on to try and sell this item to anyone you meet along your journey. This however excludes any of the checkpoint guardians. The money you get from this sale will greatly help you at one of the checkpoints to come. It is advisable that you get as much value as possible out of this sale. You will also be penalized if you do not sell this item before the end of your journey.

Clue 3: Statue

Task: You have reached the next part of your journey and it is time to test your speed. You will have to race 3 times around this statue you are currently standing next to from the assigned line in the sand.

The checkpoint guardian will take time of your attempt and for every starting 20 seconds you will be penalized with a shot of alcohol. So it is in your interest to finish this course as fast as possible.

Upon completion you will receive your shots according to your time and receive your next clue.

Clue 4: Steps at a big white building

Take yourself to the top of the steps at the foot of a big white building. Once there you will receive your next clue.

Clue 5: Steps at a big white building

Task: Great job you made it! You have been given lyrics and if you recall, this particular song was played the whole way back in the car. You must now show the world that you can sing and express your true Finnish side. Please sing the given song as loud and as graciously as you can. Your checkpoint guardian will judge you on your performance and penalize or reward you accordingly.

Clue 6: A woman that gets a student hat every year

You must now find your way to a woman who receives a student hat every year, she is also a popular swimming buddy. On your way there, you must count the steps of the big white building. You need this number at your next checkpoint to receive the next clue.

Note: You are strongly recommended against skiing down the steps as this will make counting much harder.

 

Clue 7: A woman that gets a student hat every year

Task: You found the woman (you can look but you can’t touch) and gave the correct number of steps. On the way back in the car you were also given an optional text to read. You will now be tested on your memory and public speaking capabilities. Please find a person or people to explain the historical background of this lovely lady. Make it seem like she is the love of your life, so passion is needed in your speech.

You may perform this in any language you prefer, but extra points or penalty reductions will be given for foreign languages (i.e. German, Norwegian or French).

Clue 8: A soldier who stands like a statue

Make your way to a soldier who stands day in and day out like a statue, guarding a very important national establishment.

Tip: You will most likely pass through a market and if you have not sold your item(s) by now, then it would be a good place to try as you will most likely encounter many foreigners who will marvel at you and your epic journey.

Clue 9: A soldier who stands like a statue

Task: You have now reached the soldier or the place where he usually stands. You have been provided with a camera with which you will have to use to take a “selfie” of you and the soldier. If it happens that the soldier is not there anymore you must take a “selfie” of yourself as close to the platform where the soldier usually stands. You will be judged on your “Duck-Face” and commitment.

Note: If you happen to get arrested then you have failed the journey.

 

Clue 10: Home stretch

You are now on your last leg. You have been provided with a map to you final destination. The red dot indicates finish line.

By now you should have managed to sell your item(s) and received enough money to buy a ticket on a local tram (Number 4) to help you to get to the finish line faster.

However if you have not managed to do this by now you must complete the journey on your magical skis and donate your item(s) to any female stranger you meet on the way to the finish line. You must explain to her that you are gifting her the item(s) because of her beauty.

Note: If you do have the required finances to use the tram you are suggested to go to the tram stop which is towards the city center as this is considerably closer. You may also take off your magical skis for the tram journey. In the case you have any left over money after purchasing your the tram ticket you must give this as a tip to the tram operator, commending him or her of their great door opening skills and tram cleanliness.

-Conclusion-

Well done! You have now completed this epic journey and depending on the level of intoxication, you can judge your success-fulness of this endeavor. It is likely however that if you have made it this far you have proven your worth as a man and foremost as a true champion of the concrete jungle. You will now receive you reward!

After this we all came back to my place, ordered a few pizzas, had a few drinks, watched the (WorldCup) Brazil vs. Chile Game and went for a sauna.

Then we got ready and headed out for a night in town. I had booked a VIP table at a club and the rest is history!

Amazing two days after which I started to prepare for D-Day and my speech.